one week.

It kind of feels like it has been much longer, but really it's only been a week. Buck is still around after one week.
Is that an accomplishment? Hardly.
Is it going well? I think.
Is he a good guy? Yeah, it seems so.
Do I call him"Buck"? Actually, yes.
There is no saying what is going to happen at this point. It is way too early to call. With my lack of successful relationships in the past, I honestly have no idea how things are supposed to go. The one thing I do know is that this time I need to roll with it, go with the moment, and simply just let things play out.

Are you sore?

Am I sore? Is that supposed to be a joke? Yes, I am sore. I have a significant bruise on my right knee and my left ass. My left shoulder aches when I pull it backwards and my right ankle hitches when I walk. Was it worth it? Yeah, but I'm just not very good.

When one is used to being fairly good at most things she attempts, it can be frustrating when things shake out differently. That's pretty much the story of my relationship between the snowboard and I. I want to get along. I like him. I think he's cool and cute and basically a stud. I'm working hard at our relationship to not give up ... and I'm open and willing to work through the bruises and the hardships so that one day we can live harmoniously. The problem is, the snowboard and I have a long way to go, and I'm not sure he's pulling his half of the relationship.

Nevertheless, I shall carry on. No matter how many nights of "Midnight Madness" I need to board through or how many edges I catch, the snowboard and I will make it work. I will learn to trust him and embrace the speed. I will keep my weight on my front foot and I will use my back foot as my rudder. I will not settle for boarding on my heels down the entire hill. And one day I will be able to stop on a dime, spraying fluffy white stuff on whomever is in my way.

I will make this relationship work.

buck is cool.

Who would have thought? Not me. He definitely exceeded all expectations. He even met my brother ... and it went well.

Get this: We talk on the phone. Kinda crazy.

his name is buck.

I'm being set-up with a guy named Buck. This ought to be interesting.

it's my brother's fault.

The conversation between brother and Guy on my brother's way out of the bar Saturday night goes something like this...

Brother: "you guys have fun tonight... I hope it goes well with my sister."
Guy: "yeah me too but I just can't get a read on her."
Brother: "She's a tough shell to crack, but keep trying ... eventually she will."

Gee thanks brother. After all these years of being beyond protective, and you back off now? Go figure.

So it's his fault that Guy wants to stop by for dinner on his way through town tomorrow. Guy's just trying to crack me.... upon recommendation by my big, bossy, bad-ass brother. Thanks for that.

"oh. o.k"

My friend calls and asks ..."How's it going so far? On a scale of 1 to 10..." A fun night? 8. Level of interest? 2. Hey, I'm just being honest.

It's not there. I gave it a minute, a weekend, a chance. It's just not going to happen. It was awkward because I knew Guy and I were not even close to being on the same page. At the end of the night he went in for a good night kiss and I gave him the cheek. He goes, "Oh. o.k." I could tell he wanted to high-tail it out of there at that point. Obviously he wasn't expecting the cheek.

It all started wrong. He showed up at my doorstep with flowers. I had been very clear about how I don't want flowers and do not like to receive them - on at least 2 previous occasions. Did I seem like I was kidding? Well, I wasn't even remotely kidding.

Later he wants a drink at the hockey game. I do not want one. We talk about wine and he says he can find me some. I do not want wine. I say this. He goes for his beer and returns with a cup of wine for me as well. Did I seem like I was kidding? Not kidding this time either.

The good thing is that I now have witnesses. My friend and her boy saw the night unfold. They saw that he is a really great guy. Most importantly though, they also fully agree that he is not the right guy for me. I'm not jumping ship too early, but it's definitely time to grab a raft and start paddling away.

Though the flowers are surviving in a makeshift vase, also known as a water bottle, I never did finish the wine.

you can't stay here.

Guy is driving down for a visit today. Yep, you got it, today. In matter of fact, he is probably in transit at this moment. He wants to hang out. Sigh.

Sure I could have said no, but I couldn't be that blunt. I claimed plans for both Friday night and Saturday night. He countered, "I can just shoot down for the afternoon on Saturday." Not much I can say to that except, "you can't stay here." He was ready for me to say that. He had forewarned his brother that he may need a place to crash. This guy isn't joking.

On my turf means I make the plans? Not that easy. A Saturday afternoon in January. Even more difficult. So I cancelled my Saturday evening plans and now we're heading to the hockey game... with a friend and her boy. She's on my side though, and she knows my feelings about the whole situation. She is totally helping me out. Thank you God for girl friends.

So there you have it. Guy is coming to town for a date.

This would be a great moment for blind-date guy to sweep in for the save. If only...

uh-oh.

Uh-oh is right. I don't think I pulled off my plans. In matter of fact, I think everything that I thought before was either wrong or has changed... and I'm pretty sure I don't know what I think anymore. Does that make sense? Too much thinking.

First things first: Blind-date guy is officially out of the picture. We passed the allotted time frame for contacting each other, and now we shall never speak again!! Haha. Truth be told, there really wasn't anything that went wrong, but apparently it wasn't right. I wish I had more for you on this one .... but that's all folks!

Going into the wedding week, Lil G (of which he is not quite as little as I originally claimed, so I will drop the "lil" part and call him G, or Guy, so as to continue keepin' it real...) was causing me some worry. I planned to clearly transmit the message that I'm just not that interested, I'm difficult, I'm very busy, I don't date, I'm not good at dating, it won't work out, and all other messages along this spectrum. Well, I did that. I was clear, blunt, straight-up, and honest. I'm a girl of my word. And this always works for me...

Guy took everything I said and did over the past five days ... and likes me more. While I'm telling him all of these things that are intended to discourage interest and scare him off, he is asking if he can still try.

Still try? uh-oh.
"Sure, you can still try. You can't say I didn't warn you about me, and you can't think I'm a jerk when you realize that everything I told you has come true."

"I think that's why I like you."

Uh-oh. What have I done? Clearly, not what I set out to do.